That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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