i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
