WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
