I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
