All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
