It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
