I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
