I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Me too!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
