my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
