after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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