i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
