My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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