Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
