I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
