I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
