So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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