my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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