His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
