I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
