Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
