i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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