absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
