Christians are straight up FREAKS
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
