Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
