I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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