toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize