I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
