So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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