Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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