I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
