I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
