I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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