there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
