Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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