There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
