hotel room ftw
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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