brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I love you. Go after that dick
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
