Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I need to sanitize my soul.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I party with great urgency now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
