Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
