She's JV to your varsity
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
