im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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