Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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