sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
