That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
