I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
