i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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