so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
literally had 100 drinks last night.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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