can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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