Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
