idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
