My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hippo gnu deer
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want to be your penis for a week.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
