i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
