What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
