today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am naked and annoyed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
