God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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