watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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