I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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