No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Houston, we have a blender
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
