Can Purell be used as lube?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
