she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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