And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize