It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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