Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
